This poem came out of my experience with leaving the evangelical church. I attended a women’s bible study and over the course of three years these women loved me like I hadn’t ever been loved. What I soon realized is that they loved the fake Bethany and the Bethany that they wanted me to be. When my faith shifted and I started sharing new ideas, in excitement because I wasn’t relying on anyone else for the information, they promptly shut me out.
There is no longer room for me
At your perfectly lavish table
Told once I always welcome
It is the banquet table of God yes?
Now my name slips past their lips as if there were a death
Lips that used to speak love
Hearts that said I was one of their own
Now I have walked away from the God they see
As I have found Him on my own
My seat has been taken by a rule follower
And I am no longer welcome in their banquet hall.