Like most bloggers I started out with big dreams and intentions for All Things Truthful. I wrote a big chunk of my story here over a solid two year window. I shared things I might otherwise have not, given that I share things better in the written word.
I haven’t posted anything since October. It’s not just that I have been experiencing significant resistance, and life altering changes. I was told that my blog was being read by people who consider my writing heinous, ugly, lies.
I don’t write for anyone but myself and like Anne Lamott says
“If people wanted me to write better about them, they should have behaved themselves”
That goes along with the mission set forth when I started this blog. I do come here vulnerable, bare and incredibly raw sometimes. Like I stated above I have shared intimate parts of my story here. There is a twofold reason for that.
One, I believe that it’s time to share my story. To write about the things that I have been through as a way of processing them, bringing them into the light, and if it so happens helping someone else.
Two, I am a writer, down to my bones. I know how to tell stories. I know how to write the bare naked truth of my past as well as writing about things that are important to me, whether they are fictional stories, poetry or bringing in a guest writer to give them a platform they might not otherwise hatopve.
I will be honest and say that a big reason why I haven’t written or posted anything is because I don’t want to be accused of lying, or spreading malicious rumors about people. I haven’t done any of that. It’s all about perception and the perception that some people have is that I created a false, trauma filled past to get attention.
To hear that, hurts. It negates every single trauma I experienced. I have no reason to lie about anything that has happened in my life. That would actually be sick and twisted for someone to make up such grandiose lies in order to gain attention, a following or…….
I don’t even know.
It has kept me from my passion though; the fear of what will be said or received has shut my mouth and kept the pen on the table. I decided that I am not going to live with that fear anymore.
The things I share about might change slightly as I do want to respect others and their feelings. However I am going to march on, sharing my words, because that is what I was meant to do.